Post by Tye Williams on Aug 7, 2006 0:09:56 GMT -5
Hello everyone, and welcome to Explosion Nightly. I, once again, am your host, Tye Williams. Well, today was the big day. No, not the day America chooses a new president. I'm talking FSL Playoffs, sheesh! Today the underdog Colorado Cougars took on the juggernaut Hawaiian Surge. Many people, including Ty Summers, predicted a blowout of epic proportions. The Cougars, however, were thinking otherwise. The FSL was stunned when the Surge entered the locker rooms at halftime down 31-24. But like true champions, the Surge battled back, regaining the lead. Leading 52- 45 with under a minute to play, the Surge were feeling pretty confident. However, Ladanian Vick fumbled inside his own 20, and the Cougars took advantage.
Taking the ball to the goaline, the Cougars stalled to a 4th and Goal.
4+G: Wise up the middle... doing his shiftiness thing... and IN!!! Summers hits him as he crosses the line.
PAT is... 2 point conversion! They're going for the WIN!!
2PT: Pitchout right to Wise... nobody home! Cougars lead 53-52 with 37 seconds remaining in this game!!
Joe Jackson would have none of it, and neither would Ryan Lipton.
2+10: Lipton to throw... blitz is on! Lipton dumps one off quick to the left... Cromartie makes a play on the ball and whiffs! Jackson turns upfield with this one and he's GONE! 57 yard touchdown!
Ladanian Vick plowed through the middle for the 2 Pt. conversion, forcing the Cougars to play for the tie. It all came down to one final play...
1+10@ Hawaii 38: Shotgun... thrown over the middle short to Holt... he can't find any room to run. Tackled at the 31.
END OF REGULATION. Hawaii wins 60-53.
*footage of Jordan Allan running with Western Conference Trophy*
The Surge got the win, and will advance to the LEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Bowl to face the defending champion Ohio Thunder.
Now let's jump to today's hot stories.
Chicago Sharks safety Xavier Young has decided to retract his expansion team from the list, and will remain with Chicago. Here is XY's official statement:
"After a long hard thinking process I have decided to stick with my current team, the team that I love, the Chicago Sharks. I will not leave them willingly until we get a Leroy Jenkins Bowl Ring!"
Chicago Sharks WR Jarret Mond has been accused of shooting up the Ohio Thunder locker room. Several hundred shells and his torn jersey found near the scene were collected as evidence. The Thunder, while flabbergasted Mond would show such unsportsmanship, realized the incident was a fragment of Mond's inner fantasies, and returned to their locker room. Since stupidity is currently not punishable by law, Mond remains free.
Controversial SS Patrick Baker has found himself in another scuffle with FSL players. For unknown reasons, Baker, "Mean Joe" Jackson, Ned Bashum, and Alex Lewis got into quite an argument. No punches were thrown, but egos were bruised, and Baker apparently "got jacked and bashed" pretty good. Rumor has it that Jackson could be on his way out of Hawaii and Baker could be on his way in. Team GM and starting RB Ladanian Vick could not be reached for a comment. Ty Summers was reached, and only had this to say on his opinions of the matter: "I believe what my GM does is for the best of the team and I have no further comments on this matter." More on this as it develops.
In a related story, Alex Lewis, Ned Bashum, and Joe Jackson are rumored to have created a petition to have the infamous Patrick Baker banned. They have released the following image:
I guess it's not much of a rumor anymore..
After his performance against the Chicago Sharks in the playoffs, Kris Johnson is back to doing what he does best: bragging. Here are two statements from his latest press conference:
"I now have tied the record book with 3 INT's in one game, 4 defensive TD's, I have also done some gurantees, that I have beaten. And I owe it all to the Sharks."
"I come in clutch situations, and I wonder how many times Lipton will fall into the curse with me, I stopped Sooner to 26 yards, I expect nothing more than 50 for Steeves."
Gino DeBomb offered the following comic relief:
"The last time Kris got this full of himself, I lit him up like a Christmas tree."
Surge SS Jordan Allan also took a chip shot at the charismatic CB:
"It's good he's bragging like a champion now. He won't get to after the LeRoy Jenkins Bowl."
At this point, we would like to welcome the Player of the Game of tonight's epic contest, Joe Jackson, to the show!
Joe: Thanks very much man.
Tye: You had one hell of a stat sheet tonight, Joe. How did it feel to be in such control during the game?
Joe: It felt good to make my numbers long. It's my destiny as a football player to help win.
Tye: Performances like that will certainly prove your point. However, it is rumored that you are having issues with your current team, the Hawaiian Surge, is that true?
Joe: No contract issues, me and Vick aren't discussing, but we're having problems about new teammates named Patrick Baker.
Tye: Is this related to the massive argument that took place today?
Joe: Heck ya man. Baker pissed me off by having an altercation with my friend Bash.
Tye: What happened during this altercation?
Joe: Well from what I heard they just made fun of each other, I don't know much.
Tye: Just in the heat of the moment?
Joe: Nah, I decided me and Bash would beat the shit out of him.
Tye: Ok, last question. What's your pick for the Leroy Jenkins Bowl? What kind of score can we expect?
Joe: Us, the Surge, alot too, can I add a little thing, watch is begging me to stay by that big raise.
Tye: I lied before. Last question. Who do you expect to be on the Surge next year, you, Patrick Baker, or both?
Joe: I think Baker would get one. I would leave.
Tye: Thanks for your time, Joe, and good luck in the Leroy Jenkins Bowl!
Joe: You too, good luck with the job.
Joe Jackson, ladies and gentlemen. You may know him as "Mean Joe," or "the Giant," but I know him as a great WR to play against. It takes great talent to outshine Brad Steeves. With that, we conclude another Explosion Nightly. This is Tye Williams signing off, and that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Taking the ball to the goaline, the Cougars stalled to a 4th and Goal.
4+G: Wise up the middle... doing his shiftiness thing... and IN!!! Summers hits him as he crosses the line.
PAT is... 2 point conversion! They're going for the WIN!!
2PT: Pitchout right to Wise... nobody home! Cougars lead 53-52 with 37 seconds remaining in this game!!
Joe Jackson would have none of it, and neither would Ryan Lipton.
2+10: Lipton to throw... blitz is on! Lipton dumps one off quick to the left... Cromartie makes a play on the ball and whiffs! Jackson turns upfield with this one and he's GONE! 57 yard touchdown!
Ladanian Vick plowed through the middle for the 2 Pt. conversion, forcing the Cougars to play for the tie. It all came down to one final play...
1+10@ Hawaii 38: Shotgun... thrown over the middle short to Holt... he can't find any room to run. Tackled at the 31.
END OF REGULATION. Hawaii wins 60-53.
*footage of Jordan Allan running with Western Conference Trophy*
The Surge got the win, and will advance to the LEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Bowl to face the defending champion Ohio Thunder.
Now let's jump to today's hot stories.
Chicago Sharks safety Xavier Young has decided to retract his expansion team from the list, and will remain with Chicago. Here is XY's official statement:
"After a long hard thinking process I have decided to stick with my current team, the team that I love, the Chicago Sharks. I will not leave them willingly until we get a Leroy Jenkins Bowl Ring!"
Chicago Sharks WR Jarret Mond has been accused of shooting up the Ohio Thunder locker room. Several hundred shells and his torn jersey found near the scene were collected as evidence. The Thunder, while flabbergasted Mond would show such unsportsmanship, realized the incident was a fragment of Mond's inner fantasies, and returned to their locker room. Since stupidity is currently not punishable by law, Mond remains free.
Controversial SS Patrick Baker has found himself in another scuffle with FSL players. For unknown reasons, Baker, "Mean Joe" Jackson, Ned Bashum, and Alex Lewis got into quite an argument. No punches were thrown, but egos were bruised, and Baker apparently "got jacked and bashed" pretty good. Rumor has it that Jackson could be on his way out of Hawaii and Baker could be on his way in. Team GM and starting RB Ladanian Vick could not be reached for a comment. Ty Summers was reached, and only had this to say on his opinions of the matter: "I believe what my GM does is for the best of the team and I have no further comments on this matter." More on this as it develops.
In a related story, Alex Lewis, Ned Bashum, and Joe Jackson are rumored to have created a petition to have the infamous Patrick Baker banned. They have released the following image:
I guess it's not much of a rumor anymore..
After his performance against the Chicago Sharks in the playoffs, Kris Johnson is back to doing what he does best: bragging. Here are two statements from his latest press conference:
"I now have tied the record book with 3 INT's in one game, 4 defensive TD's, I have also done some gurantees, that I have beaten. And I owe it all to the Sharks."
"I come in clutch situations, and I wonder how many times Lipton will fall into the curse with me, I stopped Sooner to 26 yards, I expect nothing more than 50 for Steeves."
Gino DeBomb offered the following comic relief:
"The last time Kris got this full of himself, I lit him up like a Christmas tree."
Surge SS Jordan Allan also took a chip shot at the charismatic CB:
"It's good he's bragging like a champion now. He won't get to after the LeRoy Jenkins Bowl."
At this point, we would like to welcome the Player of the Game of tonight's epic contest, Joe Jackson, to the show!
Joe: Thanks very much man.
Tye: You had one hell of a stat sheet tonight, Joe. How did it feel to be in such control during the game?
Joe: It felt good to make my numbers long. It's my destiny as a football player to help win.
Tye: Performances like that will certainly prove your point. However, it is rumored that you are having issues with your current team, the Hawaiian Surge, is that true?
Joe: No contract issues, me and Vick aren't discussing, but we're having problems about new teammates named Patrick Baker.
Tye: Is this related to the massive argument that took place today?
Joe: Heck ya man. Baker pissed me off by having an altercation with my friend Bash.
Tye: What happened during this altercation?
Joe: Well from what I heard they just made fun of each other, I don't know much.
Tye: Just in the heat of the moment?
Joe: Nah, I decided me and Bash would beat the shit out of him.
Tye: Ok, last question. What's your pick for the Leroy Jenkins Bowl? What kind of score can we expect?
Joe: Us, the Surge, alot too, can I add a little thing, watch is begging me to stay by that big raise.
Tye: I lied before. Last question. Who do you expect to be on the Surge next year, you, Patrick Baker, or both?
Joe: I think Baker would get one. I would leave.
Tye: Thanks for your time, Joe, and good luck in the Leroy Jenkins Bowl!
Joe: You too, good luck with the job.
Joe Jackson, ladies and gentlemen. You may know him as "Mean Joe," or "the Giant," but I know him as a great WR to play against. It takes great talent to outshine Brad Steeves. With that, we conclude another Explosion Nightly. This is Tye Williams signing off, and that's the way the cookie crumbles.
!
